The One Year Anniversary Blog Party!

I cannot believe it has been one whole year since I started this blog. It's kind of funny actually. When I started this thing I was sitting at my Grandma Lynda's computer in Biloxi. And today...I just got back from there after not being there since the hurricane...in almost a year. I actually took out the first entry of this blog because when I reread it...it sounded silly to me. And after a year of writing in this...after so much has happened...after a year of growth, I guess I figured my writing had changed. So over the course of a year, I have taken out a total of about 8 entries that I thought were utter crap. 8 entries out of 103. Not too shabby I must say. However...for the purpose of this wondrous occasion...I figured I'd add the first entry back in. (The very first blog entry is all the way at the bottom for those who are interested in reading it.) But when I started this blog...when I sat down to write in it...I never thought that I would be sitting here a year later writing in it still. I thought it would be yet another "thing" that I would leave unfinished. I thought maybe I would write a few entries that no one but I would read and then I would forget about it. And now...a year later, I've written 103...make that 104 entries, and I have a slew of people reading my inner most personal thoughts on a daily basis. My writing style has changed just a bit...I still use .......... all the time. I still use capital letters to enunciate and express what I'm trying to say...although I'm trying to incorporate more italics. When I first started the blog, I used initials for everyone's names to "protect their identities" but then I realized that was absolutely retarded since I wasn't publishing everyone's home addresses and phone numbers and it sounded silly referring to people by A B C & D. Not to mention I ran into problems when I had several people with the same first initial. I have tried to keep some sense of privacy on here. I have not written about extremely personal issues...except for a few that only affected me. However, for those of you who have been reading my blog over the past year...those of you who have kept up with the "characters" in my life...it may have been easy to notice people coming and going...things changing...events happening...maybe you filled in the blanks.

A lot has happened in and around my life in the past year. Great things...horrible things...happy things...sad things. I never really made a conscious decision when I started this to not go into detail about personal things in my life such as relationships...but I'm also a moral and caring person...no matter how I feel about another person, I would never broadcast details of anything that has to do with another person's feelings, thoughts, actions, relationships, etc. without their consent or unless I leave them anonymous. That being said...it's also easy for someone who had no clue who I was to start at the bottom of this blog and work their way up and put some things together without me having to say anything.

In the past year, I lost the love of my life. No...he's still alive and well...and we are still very good friends...but we are no longer "together." You need to know no more than that. In the past year, I have made several wonderful friends including Denise whom I have mentioned several times in entries. I met her through another friend...who became more than a friend...and now he is no longer in my life...at all. He is also alive...don't know if he's well or not. Nuff said. (Speaking of friends...I would like to take this moment to thank my friends who have supported this thing called a blog...or as one friend calls it...the "b." Aimes, "J" from Pelham and my dear Petie...thanks for always jumping to comment on my blog entries. It always seems like your comments come at a time when I'm feeling a bit blue and they are the pick-me-up that I need. Love you guys. Susie Q...thanks so much for continuing to read and continuing to be a "virtual shoulder" for me...even though for some strange reason it takes your computer an extra day for my blog entries to update. Love you the "MOSTEST OF THE MOST!!" Tamster...thank you so much for telling me that my writing makes you laugh out loud even though you're an uptight person. I personally don't think you are...and I personally think you're madly in love with Brucie...but don't worry...I won't tell anyone. Love you bunches! Shell...thank you for your emails of support and letting me know that you "still read the blog"...hurry up and spit out my neice or nephew. Love you girlie! Sis...thank you for reading your big sister's blog and telling me that my teeth are gorgeous...I love you baby girl! And yes, I'll take you to see Saw 3. Denise..."D"...how do I even begin to thank you? You've been there through it all...you've kept me sane...unless we were both insane at the same time and then we just reverted to our Bahamas plan. I love you and miss you. Thanks for being there through the good and bad. Mom...thanks for reading every word from day one. Thanks for being my backbone and letting me be yours. Thanks for helping me grow every day. Thanks for being my best friend. I love you. Dad...Thanks for reading the short entries...if you get to this one...know that I LY....MI....very very much. G...Thank you for bringing me back to life 6 years ago. Thank you for showing me what true love really is. A & F. For all the rest of you...and I know I've missed MANY and for that I'm so sorry...thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading and emailing and commenting. And for those of you who have just started reading this (Hi Lisa and Martin!) thank you so much for your interest. And for those of you who "promise" you're going to read this but never do...you know who you are...*cough cough* Karl Paul *cough cough*...I won't say any names though...just know that I'm not sweating it...I know you guys love me anyway. Just know that I love each and every one of you...and I just want to thank all of you for letting me do this...and enjoy it. OK...now back to the year's events.) In the past year, I've lost furry family members that were loved just as much as if they were human. See you on Rainbow Bridge. In the past year, my bones have deteriorated but my will has strengthened enormously. I have felt full and empty...seemingly all at the same time on occasion. I have felt immense happiness and great sorrow...but overall have done my best to keep my hope...keep my faith that I will overcome all obstacles thrown in my path. The physical pain that I feel on a daily basis has not kept me down. The emotional pain that I've felt from time to time from a breaking heart, or from seeing my mom's pain, or from missing someone so deeply that it cuts like a knife has not kept me from growing. It hasn't kept me from trying my damndest to find the humor in life. To take a mundane situation and make it tangible to another...to make it real and raw and laughable...so that others...you can relate to it and see that all of us can somehow get through...day by day, minute by minute, one baby step at a time. This blog has been therapy for me...it's been a way for me to release what's inside. If not one single person read this...I'd still be doing it...or at least I hope I would. But it helps to know that you guys do read it. That I know that it makes other people laugh. That it gives other people something to think about.

So much has happened to me in the past year...and so much more will happen to me in the coming year. It's exciting...and scary too when you think about the unknown. An adventure waiting to happen. A clean slate laid out before you. A story waiting to be written. You just have to pick up the pen and write the words on the blank pages. How will my story begin? Not "Once Upon a Time" or "In the Beginning." I may have to think on it...or maybe it could begin with this...

"One day, I woke up early, put my big girl panties on, faced the world with a feeling of enthusiasm, and decided I would kick some major ass and take names. Look out...here I come!"