How Come?

How come we get these crazy or not so crazy dreams in our heads as children and teens and think that there's nothing to stop us to get to that point? And then how come some of us get exactly what we imagined and some of us get just the opposite? Is it God telling us something? Do others just have more willpower and stick-to-it-iveness than other people? Can we turn things around after things have gone horribly wrong and still achieve what we want? I suppose these are questions to ponder and things to pray about if you are a spiritual person. And where do those dreams come from anyway? Are they a product of our environment? Something that our parents put in our heads as kids? Something THEY really wanted but never got?? I guess the answer to that question is all of the above...just some people get their dreams from different sources. My dream when I was a kid was to be a pediatrician. Back then, I was gung-ho! I bought medical books and read encyclopedias...even had a meeting with MY pediatrician and took notes on what he did all day. And I wasn't even a TEENAGER yet! Now though...I don't think I could do that. I am not sure my stomach could handle some of the things that these nurses and doctors (bless their souls) DO! Did I let that dream go because as a child I didn't realize what it would take? Did I let it go because I didn't think I could achieve it? Or was it just my course in life that led me away from it? My childhood best friend, MA, she wanted to be an elementary school teacher. She wanted to go to Auburn. She had her life down to the letter...as I thought I had mine...Today, MA is getting her Master's degree from Auburn in childhood education! Me...I'm sitting here with a disability after MANY unsuccessful jobs and no professional schooling. Not that I'm throwing a pity party...I'm not. It's just that every year that goes by I think, ya know...it's not too late for me to get a degree. But here I am, 24 years old and NADA. I do admit that I've been lazy, or depressed, or just haven't WANTED it bad enough to go after it. I have no idea...all I know is that I have from tomorrow until the end of my life to make it right. If I said that I regretted my whole life, I'd be lying. Yes, I made some major mistakes and I could've done a heck of a lot of things better. But WOW...I've had a great life and I hope that I have a lot of time left to make my life even better. I've loved and lost and found love again to be the best that I could've imagined. I've broken my mother's heart, but by the grace of God, we are the closest that a mother and daughter could be. I spent so many years depressed and on medication...and now I am happy without medication in the midst of some really bad times. I still have many hopes and dreams. Some of them realistic, some of them, maybe not so much. But I do know one thing. I am blessed to have a great family. I am blessed to have a man in my life who is my best friend, lover and partner. I am blessed to have AVN...yep, I am. Because maybe I wouldn't have come to the conclusion of how blessed I really am if I hadn't gone through all the turmoil of this disease. So, maybe I've answered my own question. How come we have these dreams when we are kids of what we want our life to be?? I think it's because of hope. If we had nothing to dream of, we wouldn't have any hope. We'd have no ambition. We'd have nothing to look forward to. We'd have nothing to stir our souls and our hearts and to tell us, even if it's a whisper, that "we are blessed!"