Nermil's Poops

Nermil has the STINKIEST poops I have ever smelled in my life. Literally. My mom, bless her heart, has to rush to pooper scoop the litter box when Nermies poops because it fills the house with such a rank odor that we literally must hit the floor or run for gas masks as Nermil struts around as if he has just eaten the canary. And ANNIE...oh my gosh...if SHE gets a whiff of the heavenly aroma before we do...she goes hightailing it in there and has herself a scrumptious snack and then walks out of the room with litter lining her nose like a line of cocaine smacking her lips like she's just had Godiva chocolate. We have to have 2 litter boxes for Nermil. One in my bedroom and one in the laundry room. Rarely does Nermil poop in the one in my bedroom.

But one horrible night...

I had Annie in my bedroom because Mom was in Biloxi, and I let Annie sleep in my room when Mom's gone since I take care of her. So there I was talking on my cell phone with my door tightly sealed. My ceiling fan blazing (I have this thing about being freezing cold when I go to sleep). Annie is on the floor on her bed (which just so happens to be right next to the litter box) and she's sawing logs. Dad is down the hall in his office typing away on his computer. Nermies is playing around somewhere on the floor where I can't see him. Next thing I know I hear scratchscratchscratchscratch. Annie IMMEDIATELY wakes from her sound slumber and her nose starts working and her ears perk up. I sit straight up on the bed and silently plead, PLEASE Nermies let it just be pee, let it just be pee. Nermies stands there for a minute and stares back at the two of us while we are both waiting...Annie wanting one outcome...Me wanting a totally different one. After what seems like an eternity...........pooooooooooop!!!!!!!! I JUMP off the bed (yes, that IS possible for me in emergency situations such as this!) with the phone in one hand, yelling for Annie to STAY STAY STAY. She is shaking like a leaf at the sight of her precious addiction only inches from her grasp. I grab the door and yell for Dad as I am GAGGING from the smell that is permeating my pores. Nermies has bailed at this point. Left me to my own devices at solving this conundrum. Dad hears me screaming at Annie to stay and yelling at him to BRING A PLASTIC BAG and comes running around the corner to see me in a football tackle stance with my shirt covering my nose, phone in one hand, other hand waving frantically at Annie to STAY!!!!!!! "What's the matter?!?!," he asks. He's all worried...but then it hits him. Yep...hits him REEEEAAAAALLLLL good. Right up the damn NOSE. The contortion on his face said it all. "Nermies...poop....smell...Annie....needed...bag..." was pretty much all I could get out at that point. I had set down the phone and was somehow warding off Annie with my foot and scooping out the foul pile into the bag while tears were pouring down my face. I finally got it out to the trash can...the OUTSIDE trash can. And I think I sprayed an entire can of Oust in my bedroom and bathroom and down the hall. But it was too late...it had already entered my bloodstream. And Annie was HORRIFIED that she didn't get her fix. Once I flopped back down on the bed from pure exhaustion Nermies hopped up there and was like, MEOW!!! HI!! I POOPED!!! And I was like, I know you did!!! Thanks for sharing!!!!

And so, I thought I would share it with YOU! Go back to enjoying your breakfast now!

~*MareBear*~