Dependence Day

Why is it that we believe that another human being can make us happy? Why do we put so much investment into that? Especially when we KNOW that person is going to let us down, we throw our whole hearts into believing that that person is going to "be there." And then, SURPRISE!!! They aren't, and we're devastated. But it's not really THEIR fault...they didn't sign up to be our "happiness givers." But yet, when they utter those words, "I'm here for you," we cling to them like they are our life preserver in the stormy sea of life. We depend on them for our happiness. We measure our day by them. Let me explain. If this person says that they will call you, you wait by the phone...not so patiently...heart skipping a beat every time the phone rings. Your entire day could be filled with WONDERFUL things...it could be a FANTASTIC day. Great weather. Great health. Good food, good friends...everything goes your way...but if that phone doesn't ring with that certain person on the other end....ohhhhhhh no...it's a BAD DAY. You have just let one person ruin a very good day. All because you have let yourself become dependent on that one person for your happiness. But that's just human nature, right? You fall in love with someone, and you feel all those wonderful feelings of joy and happiness. So you attribute those feelings to that person. Therefore...you think that that PERSON is MAKING you happy. So you begin to EXPECT that person to make you happy from that point on. You become dependent on that. You take it for granted. And years down the road when you find yourself in a bad mood because of some outside circumstance...you usually find a way to blame it on the one you love. Because, hey...they are supposed to make it all better, right? Wrong. YOU are in charge of your own emotions. As sucky as that may be. It's EASY to depend on someone else for your happiness. It's HARD to depend on yourself for your own happiness because that means if your having a crappy day...it's your own damn fault!! You have no one to blame but yourself! How bad does that SUCK?!?! But it's the truth. And the truth hurts. It's a lot of pressure for our loved ones to be put under to be the ones who have our happiness in their hands. It's like saying, "CAUTION...one false move and I could chop your head off. Choose your words and actions wisely." However, if we take back control of our own emotions and happiness...if we say...I OWN this...then we can't ALLOW someone else to choose for us. And that's pretty empowering in itself, although easier said than done. If you don't get that phone call...ok...you might be a little bummed, but you've still had a great day. And when you DO get that phone call, it will ADD to your great day instead of making it. It will take the pressure off of the people we love giving them room to WANT to do more things that will ADD to our joy and happiness that we are already bringing ourselves. And it goes both ways...YOU can't make someone else happy...no matter how much you may want to or how hard you try. You can fight for their happiness...struggle for it...pray for it...WILL it to be so...but only THEY can make it happen for themselves. Just like YOU are the only person that can make it happen for you.

So, today...be happy because YOU are happy and not because you think someone made you that way. Sure...someone can always ADD to your happiness and that is a beautiful and wonderful thing. But no one can take away your power of emotions unless you let them. So when you smile today...let it be a smile straight and pure from your very own heart, and send out a prayer or hope or wish that the people you love can have an equally pure smile straight from their own hearts too.

Happily Yours Always

~*MareBear*~