Impending Slice and Dice

Alrighty then...so my surgery is less than 2 weeks away. Yesterday I went to bank my 2nd unit of blood. Let me just give you a rundown of what happens when you donate blood if you've never had the joy of doing it. First, you go in and they lay you down in this really comfy chair...that part is to deceive you into thinking that you're in for a nice comfy ride. Next, they strap on a piece of rubber around your bicep so tight that your arm turns purple and veins you didn't even know you had bulge out so far that they could use them for dart tournaments. THEN...they bring out a baseball bat sized needle, tell you there will be a "small stick" and proceed to jam it in your most bulgingest vein. And yes, bulgingest IS a word now. Once the baseball bat is secured with duct tape, blood travels through a large hose into a garbage bag to collect your blood. I think I might have even seen a vampire on the receiving end getting a little sip or two. I made the mistake of asking the nurse if people actually fainted from giving such a massive amount of blood all at one time. "Oh YEAH!" she exclaimed. "All the time! They puke, too!" Niiiiiiiiice. So glad I asked. I would LOVE some of that cornbread right about now. I'd even catch it one-handed if they asked me to. Anyway, I got through the 2 units...I survived...and no, I didn't faint. Although both times, I did feel a bit woozy and had to have juice and a snack afterwards and felt like poop warmed over that night. So...I encourage ALL of you to go out and donate to your local Red Cross right now...you might just save a life!

Tomorrow I go for my pre-op stuff. EKG, MORE blood work (albeit NOT a garbage bag full), and maybe, JUST MAYBE, I'll see Dr. Fabulous so he can avoid more of my questions! I always look forward to an encounter with him. His warm, bored eyes. His white and straight teeth. His comforting and monotonous voice. His terrific way of reminding me every time I see him that I don't have insurance but that "it won't affect the quality of your care in ANY way." The silly way he acts like he wants to leave the room only 30 seconds after he got there. (I'm sure he's just playing hard to get.) GOSH...I can barely wait to see him! Too bad he's married. Seems like a great catch.

As for my state of mind...I'm as STABLE as ever. : ) And that says A LOT...you know me...steady as a rock. Mmmmm hmmm...And if you believe THAT...Bill Gates is my brother. I'm a little freaked out at the prospect of getting sliced on. ESPECIALLY by Dr. AssMunch. I may end up with a toilet paper roll holding my leg together. But I'm doing my best to keep it together and stay strong and keep my sense of humor. I am having quite a lot more down moments the closer I get to the actual surgery, but I'm trying not to fault myself TOO much for it. I still get out of bed every day. I still make sure I smile a lot. It's just hard sometimes when the reality hits me that yes...I know this surgery is going to help me. I know it is...and I know that all of you are very excited for me, and I appreciate that. But it's hard for me too. Hard to realize that I'm 25 years old, and I'm getting a HIP REPLACEMENT. And even after this is over, and I go through a bitch of a recovery, I have to start all over again with my right leg. It's a little daunting. And no, I'm not trying to be negative though it may seem that way. It may come across that way because it's just a lot for one person to take on. It's a lot for one person, one young woman that hopefully has a long future ahead of her, to realize. I want to live and be happy. Preferrably NOT in pain. I'd like to think that I've taken what God's given me so far and handled it with some semblance of grace. I know that I've learned a lot. And I pray that He gives me the chance to learn more. So I'm going to take this step. Hopefully with less pain and limp. And I am hoping that I'll have my "peeps" right there beside me the whole way. I couldn't have limped this far without you. And my $50,000 wiggle won't be the same if I can't show it off to you once I've got it!

Love to all AS always!

~*MareBear*~