Irises

So the other day, my mom and I come home from yet another shopping trip to Kohl's (send me stuff) and we pull up to our GORGEOUS house, and there is a BOX sitting outside the front door! And guess what!!! It was FLOWERS from PETE!!!! Sweet Pete sent me flowers to wish me luck on the medical "stuff" (nice choice of words there, Petie! LMAO) and to make my house pretty! : ) Which they ABSOLUTELY did! They are the most gorgeous irises...which you can see from the pics! The coolest part is the company they came from...it's a really cool company...I'm sure they won't mind me advertising for them on here...it's ProFlowers. I will type just what the IRISES came like and what it says on the little package:

Picked when the bloom is just cracking open and shipped overnight from the farms in Central California, the ProFlowers' Iris arrive in magical ready-to-bloom stage. Watch them gracefully unfold to reveal their inner beauty.

Everyone sigh collectively. OK...so I've talked enough about them...ENJOY THE PICS!!! Oh, and Petie.....KISSES!!! Thank you SOOO much! That was very sweet of you!

Hmmm...Quitting Smoking

OK...so well...hmmm...So I haven't actually quit smoking...exactly. But I've cut back...A LOT! Really, I have. And now that I'm going to Chicago, and I'm super psyched about it...there's no way in hell that I can quit completely now...so people...just bear with me, OKAY?!?!? Love you, MEAN IT! hee hee!!!!

Chicago!!!!!!

Ladies and Gents...in exactly 2 weeks from RIGHT NOW, I will be in CHICAGO!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!! I will have met my Pogo friends who are also three of my very BEST friends, Denise, Billy and Tree!!!!!!! Denise is getting married on Feb 10th which is the whole reason for the gathering. I have been DEVASTATED about the fact that I wasn't able to go up there, but lo and behold, today...Denise waved her magic wand and within about 30 minutes, I had a flight and a hotel room for the weekend!! I am beside myself excited about it. I've been NEEDING something to be excited about. I haven't been excited about something like this in a VERY long time. Not to mention, I've never just hopped on a plane all by myself to somewhere I've never been to meet people I've never met before in person. But the weird thing about it is...for those of you who have known me my entire life...you would think I'd be scared out of my MIND to do this. Step out of my comfort zone and "take a risk." But the thing is...I am SO FAR from scared!!! I am excited and PUMPED about it! I feel like I'm finally DOING something for myself! And I have Denise to thank for that! She would say that I DO NOT need to thank her, but I would just turn around and tell her to SHUT IT! THANK YOU GIRLIE!!! You do not know what this means to me. Especially right before I'm about to face an icky surgery and some tough recovery. BUT now that I'll have met you guys...you can come see ME since I won't be able to see YOU! And you can push me around the casino here in my wheelchair!!! ; ) Tell everyone to get the HELL out of our way! : ) I love you guys, and can't WAIT to get my limping self up there to spend some REAL OFFLINE time with you!!!

~*MareBear*~

Quit Day!!

Well, here it is 8:41 PM on Tuesday, January 24, 2006. It's been exactly 21 hours since I've had a cigarette. But I'm not counting. I'm actually doing really well. I'm not using the patch, or nicotine gum. Nor have I eaten everything in the fridge or killed anyone or any animal that lives in the household. So, I thought I'd get on here and share with everyone that I am quitting. Figured making it publicly known would give me more support to quit! So that means all you guys have to comment and give me a nice little pat on the back or a "YAY!" or something! And yes, this has to be THE WORST time for someone to quit smoking, but hey...I figure...if I can manage to quit smoking successfully during all THIS crap, then I can live without ciggies! But the MAIN reason for me quitting is because of the upcoming surgery. The whole purpose of the surgery is to get blood flowing again...and nicotine restricts blood vessels. SO...the success of the surgery could depend on my quitting this crap right NOW. So there ya have it. I don't WANT to quit, but I have to. So...that's enough reason for me to do it without too much complaint or drama about it. Just set em down and be done with em after 10 years. GIT R DONE!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, that's all I got to say about that! : )

Love to all!

~*Mare Bear*~

Nermies Has Arrived!!!

Well, my baby boy has finally arrived here in J!! And I am so happy that he is here with me. He seems to be adapting very well and Annie and Whitney love him so far...TIGGER on the otherhand....not so much. But Nermil is determined to be friends. Anyway, I have some pics that I wanted to share with all of you! Enjoy!! Love to all as usual!

This is Nermil on my bed and he is shocked and surprised by the flash of the camera so he is squinting in this picture. Afterwards, he scolded me for not warning him of what I was doing first!







This is his shy pose...I warned him I was going to take the picture and he didn't know exactly what to do so he kind of froze a little bit.






This time he was ready for the picture and said, "OK, Mommy, you can take one now...I've got the perfect pose and I'll look off to the side so the flash won't hurt my eyes."






This is when I told him that the last pose made him look absolutely GORGEOUS!! He is saying, "OH! Stop it Mommy!"







Here he said, "Wait a darn minute, I AM gorgeous, take another picture and I'll cross my dainty little paws for you. I am totally fabulous!"






Here, I told him the joke about the two dogs that walk into the bar....you know the one...gets him every time!





He finally got control of himself and he says, "OK, Mommy, let's get back to business...tell me again how beatiful I am." And I said, "You look VERY beautiful on my VERY beautiful bed!"






This is Nermil COMPLETELY disgusted that I would DARE compare him and my BED and call them both beautiful. I immediately apologized and begged for his feline forgiveness.








But to no avail...he was DUNZO! "Photo shoot OVER, MOTHER!" And off he went!






Well, at least I got SOME shots for you guys! I hope you enjoyed them! ; )

The Dreaded Surgeon's Appointment

Well, today was the day of the surgeon's appointment...to find out how exactly how bad the right hip is, and to find out exactly what the heck these docs are planning to do to help me. Well...that's what I found out. There may be some medical mumbo jumbo in here, but I will do my BEST to explain! I promise...if you can make it through the next paragraph, it'll all be worth it! : )

My right hip is in the late stage 2, early stage 3 AVN. Which means that it does have significant AVN in the ball of the hip, BUT the ball of the hip is still ROUND. By comparison, my LEFT hip is totally collapsed LATE stage 4...if you looked at an x-ray of it, you would see that the ball of my left hip is NOT rounded...it is bumpy and not smooth. OK...SO...going from that...there is a procedure called a core decompression (CD) that the docs can do IF you "catch" the AVN in the early stages. A CD is where they drill a hole in the hip to stimulate more blood flow. (This is a VERY elementary explanation, so PLEASE, AVN experts, do not get on to me!) The purpose of a CD is to PROLONG the hip replacement (THR) not PREVENT it. I WILL have to have a THR on the right hip eventually, but they are hoping to prolong it as long as they can. CDs in the stages that MY hip is in and later have NOT been known to be the most successful. Meaning...after a few months, the pain returns and I must have a THR anyway. If the CD IS successful, it will give me at the most a few years, hopefully pain free, that I can avoid a THR in that right hip. NOW...for what they told me today.

They want to do a CD on my right hip in the next 6-8 weeks. They think it will be a 50-50 chance that it will be successful. The surgery itself is relatively short and sweet. I would spend a day, MAYBE spend overnight, in the hospital. However, the recovery time for this surgery is daunting. I would have to be COMPLETELY non-weight bearing on my right leg for TWO MONTHS. Well. That poses a problem. My left hip is completely collapsed. I can't possibly hold all of my weight on my left leg seeing as I have my left hip collapsed AND I have AVN in my entire left femur from my hip to my knee. SO...after I have the CD, I will be in a wheelchair for at least 2 months.

After I have completely gotten over the CD surgery, the docs are going to give me what I've been waiting for for well over a year. A ceramic on ceramic total hip replacement on my left hip. IF everything goes perfectly, it should last 25 years before I have to have another one put in. I may have to have revisions but I won't have to have another replacement for 25 years. That's 10 years longer than the metal on metal replacements. And who knows? In 25 years...they may come out with a bionic leg! ; ) We didn't have much discussion on the replacement except for the risks of surgery which are pretty much normal except for one thing. With a hip replacement, you lose a LOT of blood apparantly. Come to think of it, this may NOT be an exception, but he SAID it was an exception and told me that I needed to give blood before the surgery because there are occassions when people need blood transfusions....that was a little scary. But I digress.

My femur. Sadly, there isn't anything at all that they can do for my femur. Doc said that once my hip is replaced, he hopes that the majority of the pain will subside, but unfortunately, I will have pain in that leg for the rest of my life.

Here's where I get overwhelmed. The for the rest of my life part. The other day, I got a bit of a reality check. I realized that I had a "picket fence" outlook on this whole thing. I hadn't let it "hit" me that my right leg was now involved. I hadn't accepted that I'd be dealing with this disease for the REST OF MY LIFE. The words "chronic" always went in one ear and out the other. My very best friend, who also has AVN told me these words which struck me right to the core........."After your hip replacement, you won't be able to put on your own socks for 6 months." And she's right! But I haven't thought that far ahead. I was thinking, after my hip replacement, everything will go back to the way things were. End of story. Nope....this is JUST the beginning. A new chapter. A new freaking NOVEL. (Maybe this is where I should start, huh, Daddy?)

Anyway, that's what happened today. I haven't cried. I haven't thrown myself on the bed in self pity. I haven't raised my hands in the air and screamed "WHY ME?!?!" at the top of my lungs. Maybe that is yet to come. I don't know. That's the key. I don't know what's yet to come. And that scares the hell out of me. But one thing I DO know. I've made some great friends that I wouldn't have made if I hadn't gotten this disease. Some more recently than others. You have been there for me, listened to me, bitched with me, stood up for me, and loved me. You know who you are. ; ) I have a long road ahead of me and I hope and pray with everything left in me that you'll still be with me at the end of that road. To steal a line from one of my new great friends........"I hope you will be my reward!"

Yours, with love to all always!

~*Mare Bear*~

The Boot

So sneaky Steve came over with his fancy camera which I'm insanely jealous of...and somehow there was some sneaking around and tonight in my email inbox I get this picture! Seems Steve and a cohort snuck into my bedroom when I wasn't looking and "posed" my new boot on my bed and took a picture of it! HA! But it looks totally awesome, man. Not only am I posting this on here because #1 I want to show off my bed yet again...#2 I want to show off my new boots, but #3 I WANT YOUR CAMERA STEVE!!! I LOVE YOU!!! You know how you always have to have seconds on the hugs and kisses?? Well I'll give you HUNDREDS if you give me the camera!! I know, I know...keep dreaming! : ) Anyway, this post is dedicated to you!

Pics of the New House!!!!

Here are some pics of the new house!! YAY! Keep in mind, we just moved in a week ago, and haven't even come CLOSE to finishing everything, but I couldn't WAIT to post some of these shots, so here ya go!! :)




Here's the new kitchen with stainless appliances and flat top glass stove with slate countertops!! WOO WOO! It's the best part of the house according to Mom!









Here's another view of the fabulous kitchen where you can see the matching fridge that dispenses crushed OR cubed ice! (We're living rich now!) When you stand at the sink you can look out the back windows into the backyard and you can also see the big TV in the family room...niiiiiceeee! : )








This is our dining/breakfast area right off the kitchen. Mom made the flower arrangement herself! ;)
















HERE is the focus of the family room...the 42" LCD HDTV!!! Oh yeah, and the gas fireplace. And Mom's pretty plants and candles. : )



























These 3 pics above are pics of our FLOOR!!! It's totally awesome. It's scored and stained concrete. For those who have never heard of that being done before, and trust me, before moving here, I had never heard of it either...it's the coolest thing ever. D, the floor guy, who should be called a floor ARTIST, takes a concrete floor and makes cool designs on them with a saw, then stains them certain colors and seals them and they come out to be gorgeous. These pics actually don't do these floors justice. You'll just have to all come down and see them for yourselves!! : )

Here is my bathroom which isn't a very good representation of it, but you get the drift.....purple. And you can't really see it, but that's a picture of Mom and Dad on their wedding day in the window!! HA! So I can see them everytime I'm on the toilet!

NOW!!! For the BEST part of the ENTIRE house!!!

Here is my BEAUTIFUL bedspread!!!! And yes, so far, I make my bed every single morning as soon as I wake up because it's so gorgeous! And everyone that has come in the house has oohed and aahed appropriately just as I expect the same out of all of you since it took me forever to find exactly the perfect one I was looking for and I finally found it and I am madly in love with it! : )

I am decorating my room in Paris decor...so, needless to say, it's going to be tres magnific! I don't even think I spelled that right...anyway...So here are just a few pics of the things I have in my room that have Paris things on them...there are more things in there, but I won't put you through the suffering of having to look at all of it. Once I get my room totally done, I will take pics of the ENTIRE room so you can see the finished product!!

Anyway, kids...that's about it for now...there's lots more to see, but gosh it took me half the day just to get these on here. SO...I will try my best to keep you guys posted...pun totally intended...on what's going on around here. Love and hugs and kisses and all that other stuff to everyone!!!

~*MareBear*~

Coming Home

Well well...It's been a while since I've posted and it's not because I haven't wanted to or because I've been lazy, though that's been my excuse before. But this time I actually haven't been ABLE to. I was in the Big Ham over the Christmas holidays visiting with friends and family and taking care of some things. I won't be going back there for a while. Well, that may be a little hasty. Let's catch everyone up first.

After I returned to J, I didn't drive home like I normally do...I got to drive across the BEAUTIFUL reservoir (picture below) and turn right and go a little bit further and turn left and lo and behold I was FINALLY, after ALL THIS TIME turning into the driveway of our NEW HOUSE!!!!! And THIS TIME I wasn't just pulling into the beat up driveway filled with trash just to check on the progress of the house. I was coming HOME. I hadn't even seen the finished result yet. The house is absolultely GORGEOUS! And actually, it wasn't even totally finished yet, and as I'm writing STILL isn't, although it is just minor things. That's the fun thing about your dad working for the builder...they think they can take their sweet ass time building your house for you. But the main thing is that we are IN the house and we love it and it's beautiful. And you're all invited to come stay! HA! One at a time, please. So, getting back to why I haven't been online...we didn't have internet service for several days when we first got in the new house. And once we did it took a while for us to get everything organized enough to get it all hooked up.

As for me not going back to B anytime soon. As I've already written, I now have AVN in my right hip and yesterday was my MRI. I go and see the surgeon on the 17th. They will let me know just how bad the right hip is and also how we are going to proceed with the left hip. To be honest, I'm scared out of my MIND. If he says, HEY...Let's do this thing TOMORROW! I think I'll just puke on his shoes. Intellectually I am totally prepared for all of this. I've done all the research, I know what to expect...yada yada. But emotionally and physically, I am a wreck. I've never had major surgery before. Hell, I've only stayed overnight in the hospital ONCE. Granted, it was for a week, but there was NO cutting involved and I got all the ice cream I wanted. Anyway, IF they decide to do something about this soon...and that's a BIG if...I won't be going back to B for a long time. And even if they DON'T decide to do something about this soon, I've decided not to go back as much. Driving back and forth there is starting to take a major toll on me. Physically and emotionally. Now that my right hip is involved it HURTS to sit in that car for 3 1/2 hours and drive. So...I've made a decision to start taking care of ME first and to not feel guilty about it. Because right now, I have to come first.

So...that's what's going on with me so far. I am going to TRY to get some of these pictures that I took of the house posted on here sometime this weekend or early next week. Posting will be sporadic probably what with all the unpacking and everything! And even though this is a little late, I hope everyone had a GLORIOUS holiday season! : )

Love to all always!!

MareBear