May 26, 2006

Randomness Part Uh...437

My neighbors and I have adopted an outside cat...we share her. I have named her Emma. She worships me.

Ron White is going to be at the Pearl River Resort Saturday, June 3rd...SATURDAY. OK...my comps are only for WEEKDAYS...bloody hell. But, as he likes to say, "I believe if life gives you lemons....make lemonade. Then find someone with vodka and have yourself a party!!" Ron...you rule. Pass the smirnoff.

I have dyed my hair...again. I bought "Warm Golden Brown." Instead...it's dark chestnut brown with auburn highlights. And it's fabulous. I know you're jealous. Don't try to hide it.

Anderson Cooper's new book, Dispatches From The Edge is out now. It's basically in a nutshell supposed to be his memoir. OK. I like Anderson. I don't have any reason to DISLIKE him. He's been getting some beatings from certain media outlets that his book really can't be considered a memoir because he doesn't talk about his personal life...i.e. being gay. He does, however, talk about his father's death. He also talks about how his brother threw himself off of his mother's (Gloria Vanderbilt) penthouse balcony right in front of her. For a guy that started out as a freelance journalist traveling around the world trying to show people the CRAP that goes on...I think we need to cut the guy a friggin break already.

Sometimes things happen. And it may be a good thing or a bad thing...doesn't matter what "thing." And you may be scared. Because you may have been through it before, and you're scared of getting hurt or burned or lost or turned away or "we can't help this time" or just scared. Or you may be starting a new chapter in your life...or maybe your world SEEMS turned upside down...or maybe your days seem to be running together. Or maybe you're just tired. But this thing that's happening...whatever it may be...don't look back. Don't ask why. Don't analyze. Because it won't get you anywhere. Remember that great achievements, great opportunities, great love, great outcomes, great happiness........sometimes involve great risk. Go ahead and risk it...what if you get hit by an asteroid tomorrow?

If someone calls you a pathetic loser...THEY are the pathetic loser...no matter what the situation.

I really am going to quit smoking............really...............I am.

I own about 423,567 candles, and I don't ever light them.

I own about 423,566 pairs of flip flops, and I alternate wearing only 2 pair of them. Unless it's a special occasion of course...then I break out the stash.

I own 1 dress...and I never....ever....EVER wear it. And that doesn't phase me one single itsy bitsy bit. If it bothers you....call Anderson Cooper.

I had a nightmare once about Bruce Willis chasing me through a haunted house naked...HE was naked, not me. And let me tell ya...it was not a pretty sight. I had seen a movie with him in a POOL.....NAKED....ok...and then my cousin was telling me a story about her getting chased through the haunted house at the very end by the chainsaw guy. SO naturally, that night...I had a nightmare that naked Bruce (with cold water flapping winkie) was running after me through a haunted house! This was seriously, like, 4 years ago that I had this dream. I am still to this day traumatized by it. And now you are too.


Party on Wayne.

May 24, 2006

The Mini Vaca

With all the dramarama going on around here, I decided I needed a little R&R. So I took my casino comps (free night, free cash and free meal), and headed up to the Pearl River Resort for a night all by myself. I was thinking it would be perfect. I could hang out at the penny and nickel slots...drink some free drinks...have a good steak at the Bistro...and crash out on the king size bed in a FREEEEEEZING cold room for a night of solitude, peace and quiet, and no Nermies.

After the hour and a half drive there, I walked in to what appeared to be Retirement Jamboree Day at the Golden Moon. Senior citizens poured out of every nook and cranny. Lines a million people long were at every place I needed to go. On a Monday. But...that's ok...I was in no hurry at all. After I finally got my room key and had given the desk clerk my $50 deposit for my FREE room in case I decided to watch any porn (don't they know they should've asked me for at LEAST $100 with my porn addiction!) I got up to my room on the 11th floor and immediately turned the thermostat to "Igloo." Then I proceeded to go downstairs and immediately lose some money. SO I went back upstairs and watched Law and Order until time for dinner. I headed over to the Bistro with my free meal ticket in hand ready to chow down on a New York strip steak medium rare, eggs, hashbrowns and toast. Yummy. The plate came out steaming hot. Eggs scrambled soft just like I like em. Steak mooing just a little. Time to dig in. One problem though. Have you ever tried to eat a steak when you've recently had a root canal on one side of your mouth and on the other side of your mouth you've had extractions and a dry socket? Well, if you haven't ever tried it, don't. A little less than half the steak gone (which took me about 1/2 an hour to accomplish) and I was dunzo. But hey...it was free. Back to the slots where I finally grabbed my fav Texas Tea and of COURSE it didn't fail me. Won back my money plus some. And had my way with a few amaretto sours in the process. It was a little boring having no one to talk to, but that WAS the whole purpose of me coming here by myself wasn't it? Ahhh. Time for some serious sleepage. Once I got back to my room and wiped the icicles off the bed and snuggled in, I was OUT. That is...until about 4 AM. When all hell broke loose.


I woke up to screams and grunts and a child crying. And you know when you wake up in a place that you are unfamiliar with, you are totally disoriented at first. My heart is beating 1000 beats a minute and I'm wondering if I'm dreaming. Then a thud...right beside my hotel room door. Holy Do Not Disturb Batman. I jump out of the bed and go over to the door and look out the peep hole and all I can see is a couple of arms swinging. But I can HEAR everything. A child is screaming, "Mommy!!! You're BLEEDING!!" Mommy was screaming at her husband to stop hitting her...to put away the knife. I run to the phone and call down to the front desk. Tell them I'm on the 11th floor, there's a woman who I believe is getting the living crap beat out of her and she might be bleeding...please send security. The woman on the phone said, "Okkkkaaaay." Maybe she thought I was dreaming too. In 2 minutes I heard the man and woman freak out and try to RUN from the security guards into their hotel room. The woman actually didn't want her freak of a husband to go to jail. But security saw what room they went into...not to mention, you could have heard that poor child screaming from a mile away. They pulled the woman and child out into the hall and started questioning her. I couldn't hear all of it over the sound of walkie talkies and people coming and going. Her excuse was this..."We're just so TIRED!" Umm hmm. Whatever lady. You're child just witnessed your husband beat and cut you up, and you're hyperventilating and crying and bleeding all over the place. You're tired my ass. So, for the next 2 1/2 hours I listened to crying and yelling and walkie talkies and doors slamming and people running and walking and talking and blah blah blah until I finally passed back out again. I woke up again just in time to get my stuff out of the room for check out. People...let me tell you something.

Drama
follows
me
everywhere.

After the night I had, I probably SHOULDN'T have tried my luck at the slots again, but I'm glad I did. I played the nickel slots and won $200. AND I walked away. However...I have no idea how much I came out ahead. Because I don't know exactly how much I brought and how much I spent and all that jazz. Case in point why I need a casino money management coach...cough cough...BT. I have to say that I'm glad I went. It WAS good to get away for a night...even if it was rudely interrupted. And I'll be going back soon...VERY soon...with my June comps. But next time I'll be asking for the room with the king size bed on the DRAMA FREE floor.

Stay tuned for more adventures!

~*MareBear*~

May 22, 2006

Return of The Big "C" - Episode 3

When you're cruisin' down a highway of denial, the scenery can be pretty darn beautiful. The sky is blue. The trees are full and green. The speed limit sign says, "Take it easy...you're in NO hurry. But no one will bother you if you're a little heavy on the gas pedal." The road stretches before you and looks mighty long and inviting. You could drive it forever. Until suddenly...the gas light comes on, a storm cloud fills up the sunny sky, and you realize you just ran over a skunk.

Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2002. She found a lump in her breast, went to get a mammogram and lo and behold, there it was. A lumpectomy, radiation and chemo and it was gone. Less than a year later, it was back again. And this time it had metastasized to her skull and spine. Stage 4 cancer. Prognosis....not good. There was some hinting around that Mom needed to take some vacations and wrap it up. But then a great thing happened. A thing called Herceptin. It was a pretty new drug therapy that they started her on and, amazingly, it worked! Along with some intense radiation to the back of her skull (which for a while left her with a FINE looking bald spot!) the cancer went away....again. Mom would go every 3 months for a PET scan that would look for spots of cancer and every 3 months the scans came back clear! So then we were left with NED. We loved NED. No Evidence of Disease. NED was our friend. I got REAL cozy with NED. Mom kept trying to prepare me that with a recurrence like she had (meaning one that came back only less than a year after first being diagnosed and one that had metastasized) that it was very likely the cancer would come back. And every time she would tell me that...I would get FURIOUS. NO...it is NOT going to come back. "Life is a highway...I'm gonna ride it all night long!"


So, this past Tuesday, Mom went for her PET scan. Normally when she calls in the afternoon to get the results, the nurse puts her on hold and goes to get them. This time, the nurse told her they didn't have them yet and that they would call her tomorrow. Five minutes later, her phone rings. It was the doctor. They had found 4 spots on the scan in her left breast. She needed to come in ASAP for a mammogram and a biopsy. (I smell a skunk.) Wednesday, Mom went in and had NINE mammograms on her left breast and a needle biopsy. But it was basically just a formality. (Does anyone hear that dinging? I think my gas light's on.) Friday, she got the call. The lab results were in. Return of the big "C", and I don't mean the carnival's in town. (Ohhh...here comes the rain.)

Here is where we stand. Mom goes and sees the doc again on Wednesday. She will most likely have a double masectomy and chemo. The doc wants to take her case in front of the tumor board (which is basically like getting a whole bunch of second opinions all at once) because of her history. So, we will see what he has to say.

All I really want to say is that at any point we can be driving along and get side-swiped. You can live your life braced for it and cowering, or you can enjoy the scenery along the way. Either way, sometimes you're going to hit a skunk or run out of gas or hit a rain shower. You just have to learn to hold your nose, bring a gas can and turn on your windshield wipers.

We're gonna fight it. And we're gonna kick it's ass.

Love to all as always!

~*MareBear*~

May 21, 2006

Boobs, Grass and Teeth

I know it's been a while since I've updated and given this blog a little rant or two. I've been a busy bee. As you know from my previous post, Miss Elizabeth Grace was born and Mom and I spent a WONDERFUL week with her in the Big Ham! We got a call last Monday morning at 10 AM that Aimes was in labor (THE REAL THING!!) and we tore out of here and made it into the parking lot of the hospital as Tamster was calling on my cell phone screaming, "We're in stirrups, and I SEE THE HEAD!!!" Do you realize how hard it is to DRIVE and hear those words?? Anyway, it was a joyous occasion, and she's the bestest little baby in the world. And again, I'm totally not being biased or anything! ; ) It was great spending so much time with the fam all week. But when we got back to Jackson, it was back to business as usual. I had a date with the dentist.

I went in there and told her straight up that I was NOT going to have root canals on every single tooth just to have them fail on me later. Not to mention...no way in hell am I giving up my Vaults. I was ready for a fight!! Ready to go in there and set her straight, prepared to take my teeth elsewhere. But...this strange thing happened. The universe just stopped. A DOCTOR AGREED WITH ME!!!!!!!!! She said, OK then. I'll do whatever you want to do. We'll take all the teeth out except for the molars and put in fake ones. AND...are you guys ready for THIS?!?!? AND they are going to treat me as if I have dental insurance...meaning I only have to pay 20%. They are going to cover the rest of the cost. Ummm. Holy dentures Batman!!!! So the entire enchilada which would have originally cost me around $4200 is NOW only going to cost me around $1000! I would have kissed the woman if she hadn't had sharp instruments in her hand! I did have to endure one root canal on one of the molars that they are leaving...but hey...that was NOTHING compared to the extractions I had done by Dr. Mutilator a month or so ago! So...the next step is pulling ALL of my teeth which will NOT be fun...at all. Hopefully they won't be as bad as the last time I got some pulled. Needless to say, I will be eating mush for quite a while because even though I will have my fake beautiful teeth IMMEDIATELY, my gums will be so tender that I won't want to bite down on anything for a long time. But hey...guess this is one weight loss plan I hadn't really thought about! But in the end, I will have a GORGEOUS, perfect smile, and I won't have to worry about infection when it comes to my hip surgery!!! YAY!!!!!

So yesterday we got something that we've been waiting for since January 1st. GRASS!!! Mom and the dogs were especially thrilled. The yard looks absolutely transformed. The workers showed up yesterday morning at around 9 AM and didn't leave until almost 8 PM. I use the term "workers" lightly. They took turns sleeping on the side of the house, sleeping in our patio chairs, waving their empty cups at us through our window to get "filtered water" instead of water from the outside faucet, and asking us to use our phone to call friends to ask when they could be picked up. What they DIDN'T realize is that THEIR boss works for a guy who works with my dad. So one phone call and their boss was on his way over. He snuck around the side of the house and caught a few of them sleeping. There was some cussing and kicking and surprised people. After the fact it's pretty amusing, but at the time I was a little afraid that they'd come shoot up the house that night for us getting them in trouble with their boss! But anyway, now we have a nice green yard for mom and the dogs to play in!! FINALLY! Here's a before and after.

Now on to the boob section of this blog entry, which I'm sure many of the guys out there may have fast forwarded to. Sorry to disappoint fellas, but this isn't going to be a kinky rendition of Sex In the City. Tuesday, I had my first mammogram. For those of you who have never had one...pull up a chair. I had to have one being only 25 years old because since Mom was struck with the big "C" before she hit menopause that put me in the "VERY STRONG" category of getting breast cancer. So, I go in to the cancer center and don a VERY attractive gown and sit in front of this very inviting machine. The nurse was pretty cool though. Side note here... She used to work with Dr. Warmth and Charm!!! We dished about him for about 30 minutes. She gave me some good tips on how to handle lovely residents that don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. But anywho. She asks me to stand in front of this machine that has a platform at boob level and a clear flat board above it that can be manually or mechanically moved up and down. She puts my boobs up there one by one and proceeds to SMASH the hell out of them. I don't look until she has pushed the clear plastic board down as far as she needs it to and then she says, OK...you can look. Ummm...I had NO idea my boob could be as flat as a pancake. But I do now. My boob is talented. It's a shape shifter. And to be honest...the up and down smashing didn't even really hurt. But when she had to smash them DIAGONALLY!?!? Yeah...let's not even go there. That involves armpit and boob and nipple and muscle and a whole bunch of holding your breath and just...well...ugh. At least it only lasts a couple of seconds. As for the results...they haven't called me back for a follow up ultrasound, so I'm taking that as a good sign. And they said as long as I don't have any problems I won't have to have another one until I'm 30! YEE HAW!!!

So...there you have it...there has been plenty of drama...and I will have more posts to come that have to do with some other more serious family drama. But as for now...boobs, grass and teeth...you are pretty much caught up! ; )

Love to all as always!

~*MareBear*~

May 18, 2006

Introducing Elizabeth Grace

She's FINALLY HERE!!! Elizabeth Grace was born on Monday, May 8, 2006 at 3:55 PM. She weighed in at 6 lbs. 7 oz. and was 18 inches long. CUTEST LITTLE BABY GIRL IN THE WHOLE WORLD! And I'm totally not being partial! ; ) I am going to write more about her birth and our travels and the week spent in Birmingham with her and her mommy and daddy, but I've just returned from a root canal and feeling a little BLAH...so for NOW, I am just going to put up a few pictures to tide everyone over! ; ) So here you go!!! ELIZABETH GRACE!! Welcome to the world sweetheart! We are SO glad you are here!

This is what she did pretty much the whole time we were there....SLEEP!! Don't get TOO used to it Mommy!!! ; ) She really IS the bestest baby in the world!










Again...sleeping, but see that finger she's holding so tight? That would be her Aunt MAREBEAR's finger!! She adores me. Really...she does. She told me so when no one else was watching. We have a bond already!













This is me holding the precious sleeping girl! We'll ignore the fact that I'm teaching her horrible habits because I'm wearing a t-shirt from Cancun with a BEER prominently across it with the word AAAHHH in really big print. Well...at least it's a BOTTLE right? Right. : )













This is Mom (Aunt Beth) with little Elizabeth! Aren't they adorable??? I love this picture! I think Mom was the only sensible one to wear a pink shirt to the hospital!! Smart thinking Mom!













Here is GreatGrandad holding his greatgranddaughter for the first time! And all 3 of his granddaughters standing behind him. Mommy Amy is in the pink striped shirt. Sister Tammy a.k.a Tamster is in the pink shirt behind him and ME...again...in the CASINO SHIRT on the other side of him. So here I am teaching her about beer and gambling. *sigh* What a great role model! ; )








I will have PLENTY more pictures to come and PLENTY more entries on Miss Elizabeth on the way!!! In the meantime, I hope you guys enjoy these pics!!! Love you guys SO very very much!!

~*Cousin/Aunt MareBear*~